Drifter

It has been a while since I have posted to this blog and I'm not sure why. I've been just drifting through life for the last few weeks without a path or goals it seems. My weekly running totals went from 50 to 0 back to 40 and now this week will likely end at 20 miles. I'm not training for anything in particular and even after the successful 30k I don't feel as though I want to run any long distance races this year. If I did it would be more about others and less for me. Do you ever feel as if the only reason you run these races and distances is for the acceptance of your peers?
I thought it was time for a gut check and to see if that was the case. If I wasn't training for any race and didn't have a set target or goal would I still run? For the fun of it? Well the jury is still out. I always ran for a goal. It started as a way to loose weight... you know if I could only run a mile without puking. Then it became an endurance goal, could I actually be one of those people that could say they had run a Marathon. Then it turned more into just being able to answer the question "what are you training for"?
Over the last year or so the first song on my running iPod play list is "I run for life". It's not the music I normally listen to but it struck a cord with me the first time I heard it. Enough so that I posted it here on my blog as well. I have spent the last few weeks running off and on with friends and spending some time thinking about why I do it. Not why we do it but why I do it. I'm still not sure. I know that I am a better person to be around because of running. My wife reminds me of this every time I try to taper for a run. I know that I will be around longer for my children because of it every time I look at a picture of myself at 250lbs. I also know that I have met some truly amazing people while doing it. The last couple of weeks I have found that even though I'm not training for anything, or running with anyone, I still find myself wanting to run. I'm not as stressed about getting in miles and as such it is more sporadic and my mileage tents to be lower but I'm still out there.
So it's almost as if I'm finally becoming comfortable in my new skin. People no longer know that I run because I needed to loose weight. That ended a year or two ago. People ask me what I'm training for and I simply smile and tell them "I'm training for life".

Check out this inspirational link of the day.
http://www.maniacworld.com/are-you-going-to-finish-strong.html